Sunday, December 11, 2016

Making Amends

A big part of my journey in bettering myself has been and still is making amends to those I have wronged in any way. This leads me to think about what is a sincere amends.

 We all know that forced "I'm sorry" that we tell children to say.  When we get older we realize that we need to start making real apologies. How do we make a real apology? I would like to share a few thoughts with you.

In my experience an effective way to make a sincere apology is with three simple steps.

1) Express remorseful feelings.  Don't just say "I'm sorry", express your feelings of remorse. For example, "I'm sorry that by acting disrespectful to the bank teller embarrassed you.

2) Admit fault without justifying the hurtful act, and never place blame on the other person. Placing blame on the other person is counterproductive and sounds insincere.

3) Make the situation right. Ask how you can right the situation, and be open to doing what the offended asks of you (within reason). Above all, deliver on any promises you make. When we feel guilty or embarrassed, sometimes we over-correct in our attempt to gain forgiveness. If the person is asking for something that you can’t give, say so, and say that you will give some thought to what you can give to make it up to him or her.

Keep this in mind next time you need to apologize to someone.

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